just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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