another moral hangover. fuck.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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