so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
