you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
