OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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