if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
