She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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