I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm getting married
To pizza
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
