i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You were trust falling into bushes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
