i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
