You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You brought string cheese to the strip club
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
