he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
