oh fat girl friday strikes again...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
