If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
