Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Pants are for mortals
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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