U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm always down for nudity.
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