You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
