I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
