I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
