We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
