Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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