Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
