found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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