kristin has been a bad kristin
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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