listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
