Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
FUCK WHALES
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