I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
