I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
