$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
