Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ugly people sure do ruin things
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
