I accidentally had phone sex last night
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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