so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
