Cold hands, warm shart.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
