dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You were trust falling into bushes
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
