That's intense
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
