I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just tell him i said nine months
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
