i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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