i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
