I smell stomach acid.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
