I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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