we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
