He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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