I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
