I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
porn star boner night. come get it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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