Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
