You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
