It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
