wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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