i think i have two assholes
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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