its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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